That'll learn ya!

That’ll learn ya!

“That’ll learn ya” [That will learn you] is a southern phrase I have recently started using. I first heard it from my sister, who says her friend in Atlanta, Georgia uses it a lot. It means (to paraphrase) “that experience will teach you a lesson that you will learn from…so you won’t do it again.” I happen to love this phrase because it’s catchy, has some slang and is so so true!

This morning we (meaning me) woke up a little late…but not late enough that we couldn’t get to school in time. My boyz (gotta love that “z” huh?) and I had to really hustle. Well, let’s just say I was the only one hustling…my youngest son had an “alleged altercation” (as my kids get older everything is alleged because they always deny and I only have one other witness--his sibling) in the kitchen. After that episode was over, they were strolling around complaining about breakfast options, sitting down watching tv and all sorts of things that aren’t conducive to getting out the door in a timely fashion. I had already talked to them about our going green plan which is bike riding to school. Due to a medical appointment and several other errands I had already planned, I would not be able to drive them to school. So hook or crook they were riding whether they get there late or not. I hate for them to be late when we are so close to the school, but I think as the kids get older they need to take on some of the responsibilities of the morning rush. It’s always on me! I know I’m the mom but I’m the only one feeling the pinch while they are chilling watching tv and fighting in the kitchen when they know they’re not supposed to be in the kitchen at the same time. They need to sweat and figure things out on their own also so they can be independent. So I told them, “I don’t care what time it is, yall ARE riding to school and yall better get there on time.” My oldest son starting hustling and negotiating with me and I stood my ground. I must say I felt awful. I felt like I was letting them out in a rough ocean on a little piece of wood to try and make it to shore. But I thought to myself if I drive them they will always think I’m going to work things out for them.

As I stood on the porch waving good by @8:18am hoping and praying they got to school by 8:30am, I couldn’t help but think “That’ll learn ya!”

P.S. – I found out later that day that my youngest son was on time and the oldest was 5min. late. After speaking to my sister (who never feels bad when situations like this happens with my teenage nephew) I felt much better about it.

P.S.S. – When the boyz came home from school they noticed they forgot their bike lock and asked me to drive them to get it. “No darling, ride back to school and get it,” I told them. They were thoroughly annoyed but did it. That’ll learn ya—twice!
Copyright 2009

Stop Committing Self Abuse

Despite the fact that I am pretty confident, the other day I had to stop badgering myself for a multitude of things i.e. the house being messy, my finances being messy, dinner not ready by a certain time etc. I had gotten in a real funk over it. I eventually had to tell myself about all the wonderful things that I have done. Has this ever happened to you? When I really thought about it I had just had a conversation with a friend and was encouraging her by telling her all the wonderful things she had accomplished so on and so forth. Why was it so difficult to encourage myself? This isn't uncommon for me. I have a pattern of "Self-Abuse" as I like to call it. I must admit I have loosened up though however I hate that I abuse myself to the point sometimes until I feel bad. I am at the point where I catch myself before the abuse begins. As I get closer to 40 little by little I am learning to stop sweating the small stuff. It's not worth it and there is always someone worse off. I'm learning, if you love yourself, yourself will love ya back!
Copyright 2009

Going green is freedom!

The other day as I prepared for my kids to go back to school I announced that they would be riding and or walking to school. The purpose of this is to go green and get some exercise. Their bikes were serviced and ready to get on the road. My boys wanted to take a test run and asked if they could ride home from the bike shop. I didn't think it was so bad. The bike shop isn't far from their school or home so I said okay. I just went over the route for them to take and made sure they had their cell phone. It was great. I went and ran a few erands came home watched a little tv in peace and quiet and ate my dinner. It was great because they were riding around and I felt so free. When my boys came home I said to my big son "wasn't it great to have a little independance?" My son swiftly shot back "wasn't it great to have a little freedom?" I just smiled and said "no comment".

Copyright 2009

Man Up Jon!

The Jon and Kate soga continues. Last night on ABC Jon Gosselin got his chance to speak his "truth" about the whole situation with the break up of him and his estranged wife Kate Gosselin.

I feel somewhat attached to this story for two reasons. I watched the show "Jon & Kate plus 8" way before this drauma started. I admired how they handled so many children (when I could barely handle 2) and how they stayed married. Their show was real because they yelled and screamed at each other just like a good old American family, until it came to an end. The other reason why it's close to me is because I am divorced and as many know divorce is so hard with children whether you want it or not.

Jon told his side of the story and I must say I wasn't impressed. Jon said that Kate verbally abused him, kept him from his family and didn't let him do anything he wanted to do. He eluded that she didn't make him happy and blah blah blah. This cracks me up. Why is it that men always think we are responsible for their happiness? Why didn't he bother to make himself happy? Did he really expect Kate to maintain the house, take care of the kids and sex him up and make him happy? What was he going to contribute to his happiness? He just sat there and was too lazy to think for himself. He even admitted that too.
Not to be all preachy but God sets up the order of a marriage. One man and one woman joined together to make one. God sets the man as the head of the house. Now a days if the man doesn't take the role as "head of house" the woman will. Unfortunatley, it's what happens. Somebody has to run the house and take an authoritative role. Jon didn't. He said he didn't speak up and said "maybe I was too passive". Uh yeah! He had the nerve to say he dispises the mother of his 8 children on national TV. I was annoyed. I don't care how you feel about your estranged wife, maybe you can keep that to yourself including all of your photos jetsetting across international lines with your new 22 year old girlfriend publicly for your childrens sake. What Jon dispises is himself. He dispised that in hindsight he didn't speak up and be more authoritative in his own house. Instead he listened and did whatever Kate said for years and now resents it. That's not her fault. I admit Kate doesn't seem like a strawberry sundae either, but had he spoken up sooner he might have preserved a little of his pride.

It's clear to me that when the order of the house isn't followed, the house will crumble.

Stories like this doesn't make me wanna run and get married either. I'm certainly open, but always keep things like this in the back of my mind.

Obviously they have both moved on with their lives to the best of their abilities under the circumstances. I hope the best for them both.

Copyright 2009

Summer is ova!

Well the unofficial last day of summer was yesterday. As the cool, almost cold evening air dried my throat I started to ponder on my whirlwind summer. To recap, I drove down to Atlanta, then to Orlando, Florida then to Port Charlotte, Florida then back to Orlando then back to Atlanta. From Atlanta I went to Virginia for a overnight stay (hooked up with a friend that I reunited with on Facebook) then back to New York. After one week of resting I was off to Nevis, West Indies for 10 days which was absolutely FABULOUS!!! Then back home to NYC and then one other quick road to trip to Atlantic City, New Jersey. Wow!!!! I wish I could live my life on the road. It was really fun. In the midst of all of that my dad passed away and that was sad and traumatic, however being surrounded by loved ones made it easier to deal with. Now that I'm home, back to my real life, it's hard to deal with when I think about him...but I'm getting through with the help of the Lord.

I spent alot of time with my family and it made me realize no matter how crazy our family can be at times (family...you know who you are) it's really nice to be with them. At the end of the day, when your so called friends leave you, your family with be there for you (hopefully). I encourage you to spend time with your family, especially on vacay because time away makes you aprreciate the gem you have in them.

With that said I would like to give a tribute to summer:

Ode to Summer

Oh Summer, you came with a great anticipation
due to my fabulous scheduled vacation
whereby I travelled the nation
and now you are just a figment of my imagination.

During that three months of fun
I mangaged to have a burger and hotdog in a bun
Now your gone
and I'm totally torn.

You will return, I'm no fool
I just wish I could take one last dip in the pool
So farewell to my favorite season
To have you all year round I would commit treason.

Sandy

Copyright 2009

Happy Birthday Auntie!!!

Today is my aunties birthday and she had a party at her house...yes on a Monday night and it was crowded. It was really nice. Her apartment was packed with family and friends. She had such a good time. I was so glad to see her happy and enjoying herself...isn't that what life is about? We also kicked off her birthday by going away for a little weekend getaway in New Jersey with my other Aunt who is here from out of town. My auntie booked a room (right on the beach) in this fancy hotel and we relaxed, dinned and even shopped a little (well they shopped alot more than me). While we were there, my out of town aunt was sharing a funny story with me about when she was born. We got on the topic because I asked her how were deaths recorded back in the day in Nevis, which is where she is born. She was telling me how recording vital statistics such as deaths and births were done manually, individually and often inaccurately. In other words if someone was born it was their responsibility to go to the registrars office and record the birth. I assume this is because back then most births weren't in a hospital. The women gave birth at home. According to her, on her handwritten birth certificate it said "male" under sex. She said her father (my grandfather) was the one responsible for going to the registrars office to report her birth. Well apparently there were a couple of bars on the way and grandpa stopped off at a few and had one too many celebratory drinks. By the time he got to the registrars office, let's just say he had been "under the influence" and couldn't remember if it was a birth or death that he was there to record. If that wasn't bad enough, he couldn't remember if it was a boy or a girl. He took a lucky guess and told the registrars office a boy! My aunt said that years later she and my grandmother had to go to court and be sworn under oath that she was in fact a girl!!! Can you imagine? I was cracking up. Well you know what they say, if you want something done right, get a woman to do it.

The weekend ended with a wonderful breakfast at one of the hotel restaurants and a sunshine filled drive home. Many many more auntie!

Copyright 2009

Calling all followers!!!

I have had this blog for 5 months and I have really enjoyed it and have gotten alot of great feedback. Thanks everyone. To date I have (drum roll please) 5 followers. 5 followers!!!! That's almost pathetic. I was on a blog today that had 1,062 followers. I was thinking, what is this chick giving out...Jumbo red velvet cupcakes or something? Although many anonymous people read the blog, I am soliciting for official followers of the blog. Jesus had disciples that followed him. I know I'm not Jesus but there has got to be more than 5 of you willing to support a sister by following this blog. This blog is not just a blog, this blog is a conduit to something bigger and greater. I have a vision & a dream (just like Martin Luther King that one day I will have 6 followers maybe even 7) and it starts with this blog. Please take the time to register to become a follower of Sandys countdown to 40. You won't regret it.

Special shoutout and thanks to my "faithful fabulous five" followers. When I blow up you can say you followed me way back when. Thanks again and may the Lord richly bless you as you follow me.

Copyright 2009