Optimism or Cynicism?

The other day someone was telling me about a mutual acquaintance of ours that was getting married. Normally the eternal optimist that I am (or used to be) would be thrilled and elated. I politely showed excitement and hopefulness for the new couple. Then out of now where 'Ol Lady Cynicism' rared her ugly head right in my mind. I began to think 'oh yeah right...another unhappy couple in America. Yeah, they'll do well with that 50% divorce rate creeping up the charts. Is that brother even working?' OMG! I was horrified! Who was this horrible voice of pessimism screaming in my head? Ol' Lady Cynicism is that you? I have had an experience with this intruder before but never this intense. Ol Lady Cynicism comes around every now and again when I get super excited or enthusiastic about something. She's so cynical and pessimistic. I remember back in my twenties when someone would tell me about upcoming nuptials and I would be beside myself thinking "another happy family in the making". Remember those super optimistic thoughts of our twenties...oh how cute. Now Ol Lady Cynicism steps right in to distort any optimistic thought I can conjure up...it's totally crazy. In a world where everything seems so bleak these days we must fight the thoughts Ol' Lady Cynicism and know that if we have to make a choice between optimism or cynicism, optimism is always the better choice, even though cynicism can be sooooo funny!

Long Distance Caregiver

As I get older, my parents are getting older too! Although, as they get older they may not be counting down or celebrating the same way I am. I find that my sister and I are somewhat long distance caregivers/listeners for my Dad and stepmother since they live in Florida. As they get older they need so much more support than ever before. After having a talk with my stepmom about finances, health insurance, bills etc. she was very overwhelmed and so was I. It's really not that easy getting older however, I found out being a compationate listner even from afar can be of some comfort to the elderly. After a while though, I must admit she was wearing me out, even despite the texting my sister and I was doing during the phone call (we're so tech savvy). But this was a reminder that this could be me one day talking to my now 9 & 12 year old boys. It reminded me that I need to make sure I instill compassion in my own kids so they can be prepared for the long road ahead of them which may include caring for their parents physically and/or emotionally. I know I'm not a Psychotherapist or anything but after that phone call I think I deserve some type of title. This is Dr. Almost 40 signing off!

The Bloggerlicious Tour 2009!

Well kids since the summer has unofficially begun, I've decided to officially go on my "Bloggerlicious Tour 2009". On this tour I will interview some very influential celebrities, tv and radio personalities, blogebrities and even a few regular folks to discuss the top things everyone must do before turning 40! Some of the things I would like to do before turning 40 is get a grown up bedroom set (see past post), go on a cruise, renovate my kitchen, have a fabulous 40 photo shoot complete with risky photos (just playing), a fake tatoo (can't do needles) and have at least one book completed, published and under my belt. Another area in my personal growth I would like to improve is procrastination...it's a beast that I must beat.

I would love to hear from you! Tell me the top 5 things you MUST do before turning 40. For our veterans who have already crossed over into this wonderful threshold I would love to know what landmark thing(s) you did to reach this milestone in your life. It could really help us kids who still have a ways to go. Holla at your girl!

Grown Up

I recently visited a friend of mine who just moved into a house. Her place was beautiful. I was so happy for her. As I entered her bedroom I was totally floored. Her bedroom looked so "grown up!" She had this massive kingsize bedroom set. I climbed up on her bed and felt like a little girl on this huge bed. Why did I feel like a little girl? I had to go back to my childhood and investigate my past. I recall many instances as a little girl when my father would introduce me as the "baby" or say to his friends proudly "this is the baby!" That's because I am the youngest of four. Additionally, as a kid my siblings and I couldn't just go into my parents bedroom. That was a place for "grown ups". My parents room was practically a sanctuary. Everything was in place, neat and changed periodically. I began to think about my own bedroom...actually my own pathetic bedroom. Mix & match furniture, no spectacular bedding and the same dusty curtains on my windows for the last three years. Have I no respect for my bedroom...or myself? My bedroom is supposed representative of me...a fabulous almost 40 woman!

I have decided that if I'm going to turn 40, I've got to do it right. No more "this is the baby" and lackluster master bedrooms. It's time my life and home represent my almost 4 decades on this earth. I've worked hard, lived right (well almost), and turned out some great kids. It's time for me to focus on having my surroundings be representative of me...a fabulous almost 40 woman all grown up!

Jon & Kate = Hate?

I was watching the Jon & Kate plus 8 reality show and as everyone knows there's much drama going on with them right now. I watched this program way before all the drama came to surface, so I am very familiar with the dynamic of their family (at least on TV). When watching them discuss their "marriage" it was very sad for me. It stirred up my own feelings of when my ex-husband and I was at that point where you know there ain't no reconciliation and it just hurts. It hurts to think about having to create a new path without the people you started out with. As Kate cried during her interview, I cried. As Kate wipped her tears, I wiped mine. I identified with her pain as if the interviewer were asking me the questions. I'm not saying she won't do well, or that she can't make it. It's just when you get married you think it's forever...or at least that's what it used to be for Barbie and Ken remember them?

I'm not trying to judge Jon, but in his interview (which by the way are separate now...they used to be together) he seemed so cold and detached. I remember seeing that very same emotion in my ex-husband and it's almost like you wonder if you ever really knew each other? Like...who is this brother. Where is the guy I used to laugh and bug out with? Who are you?

Divorce is never pretty (unless your name is Ivana Trump), but I'm sure they will get through it. As we get older God gives us the wisdom to handle all the things we cannot change. Watching this made me think of that Jasmine Sullivan song 'why do we love love when love seems to hate us?"